Saturday, March 2, 2013

A Very Important Piece of Ourselves

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The other day I got a package. It was a package I had been waiting for, and it made my entire week brighter. You see, it has been a long semester. I find myself in bed at night, head against the pillow, wondering how it is possible that it is only a little over a month into classes.

The package was from a kindred spirit, my best friend. There are few people in life with whom your heart speaks, but she is one of them. Her letter moved me to tears. With her permission, I am going to share an excerpt.

In my head, saying goodbye shouldn't be hard; a quick hug, a smile, and a few reassuring words later, we would be on our way. We would walk away happy and content in the fact that we will see each other again... Instead, I squeezed you tightly and sobbed and hoped that by some miracle, you wouldn't actually leave. I tried to will as much love and encouragement and good wishes that I could muster and send them your way...And as we both cried, I could only manage to think one thing; goodbyes aren't really good at all. They are nothing at all like I imagined them to be. They are a poorly named ritual filled with tears and damp shoulders and squashy, red faces and old, crumpled white tissues that only disintegrate when you try to put them to good use. They are a reminder of what we don't have, what we want, what we wish for, and what we desperately hope for each and everyday we are without them. As bad as goodbyes are though, they seem to drive home certain points, at least for me they do. A goodbye wouldn't be a goodbye if it were not for our friendship. It is what we have between us, the bond that cannot be broken, that makes a goodbye so very, very bad. It reminds us of something that we will be missing. A very important piece of ourselves. 

"A very important piece of ourselves." That is the key, I think. Goodbyes are always hard when they signify a prolonged distance between two people. But, they aren't hard with casual acquaintances. You have to really be connected with a person to have the feeling of being ripped up when you say goodbye. 

To give a piece of yourself to another person is a phenomenon that can only be explained by the existence of a great and merciful God. We have a great Creator with whom we can talk and connect and be loved by. But, sometimes you need a tangible hand to wipe your tears, and arms to hug you, and a smile to laugh at you. This is why families, and spouses, and friends were created- so that we can impart little bits of our heart to each other and be connected in a very raw and human way. God created emotions. The good ones and the bad ones and the painful and angry ones. We are complex creations..and to think that God formed us out of dust is mind blowing. 

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