Thursday, January 9, 2014

That Point in Wedding Planning When...

You send this paragraph to your fiance at the end of an email listing all the things that need to be discussed about your wedding:

I am binge eating M&Ms at my desk and panicking. The situation is serious. The struggle is real and yadda yadda yadda. And I just ran out of M&Ms, so the situation is really uncertain at this point. 

 Yes, this is over dramatic. Yes, this is how I am feeling. It's fine.
I really just wish all the planning would magically be done. Alternatively, someone else could plan the whole thing. I am so OCD, though, that I probably wouldn't just hand over complete control to anyone.

And now some wedding memes that ring particularly true:

Sometimes this is what wedding planning is like:
Okay, so this is actually over dramatic. I am not killing anyone-yet. 

Most of the time this is what wedding planning is like: 
  Sometimes Pinterest is of the Devil

In reality, the print at the top seems most important to keep in mind. As a bride, it is easy to allow the voice in my head to be fueled by comparison, insecurity, and perfectly edited wedding blogs. 

The voice in my head likes to try to assure me that my wedding will be unorganized, the invitations won't be sent out on time, no one will dance at the reception, I will spill something on my dress, and that any other number of things that (in my mind) would ruin the big day are bound to happen. 

That voice is a liar. 

The voice is compounded by the fact that I (mistakenly) believe that I could control all of those things on my own. I have the misguided assumption that I alone am capable of organizing and coordinating and perfecting everything that has anything to do with the wedding. In moments of stress about the wedding I seem to forget that there is no evidence for my belief that I have to be some "do-it-all-wedding-superwoman".

Knowing that the voice in my head is a liar is not going to make me feel less stressed or occasionally panicked about my wedding and all the stuff I have to get done for it in the next six months. I am super type A- "letting it go" is hard for me. The likelihood of me just letting it all go is super low.

However, knowing that the voice in my head is a liar does make it easier to accept that after all of the planning, hard work, tears, and worries, our wedding will be AWESOME,. It will be totally "us". Knowing that makes the fact that I have run out of M&Ms slightly- slightly- better (but not totally, so if someone wanted to stop by and hook a sister up then that would be ok). 


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